Hey Girl

Hey Girl
What seems the case with your eyes
Is that black, a color of your unwiped kohl
Or a hangover from the last night

It could be a color of your pain
Or that of your skin
So undefined it seems to me
So blind

Hey Girl
Did he hit you again?
Or his lingering thoughts
Of the past
Didnt leave your mind

It could be a color of the night sky
Trapped in ur sleepless eyes
Or the color of sleeplessness itself
Of the overworked kind

Hey Girl
Are you crying again these times?
Or you didnt stop at all from that day
Memories of the past
Ghosts of the future undefined

It could be the pain that numbed you
Or the emptyness that defines you at times
Hollow do you feel
Or does it burst ur mind

Hey Girl
I look at you
And look at my mind
For we all are one
In a million similar stories of women personified

It could be that i am making it all up
Or reading it beyond the visible lines
Of expression,
Of those snubbed truths around
This careless world living beside

Hey Girl
What seems the case with your eyes
Is that black color a depth of the universe
Or that black hole of the ache
Of the you, the me, combined.

- Diary of an Oxymoron 

An Obituary Of The Nation: By Cropped Roots, Chopped Wings And Silenced Voices

Dear Fellow Countrymen,

As I write this down, I am in tears. It gives me a choking discomfort and terrible pain to pen down this obituary. This obituary does not speak of a woman dying a sad death after being raped or tortured, but about the sad demise of humanity amongst a nation of beings with whom live the hundreds of women who have no clue how they are being sucked into a black hole of predators just looking for them to fulfill sexual pleasures; of predators who look for the chance to assert their ‘manly’ power, of predators who smile inside when a female foetus is not allowed birth in this land.

This might be an obituary for many men around you, women too. And sadly, if you read this and look away, this might be an obituary to that little human heart of yours. Therefore, this might be the biggest obituary written in history (read: of the second most populated country in the world); of hoards of men and women, who might feel this is an obituary to them. Because even when you are breathing, you are dead inside. And while the Nation still claims to be highly populated with different categories of Indians, blood sucking Vampires in human form are the ones that make the biggest class, caste and community of this country.

This is your obituary, if one day you told your wife/daughter/daughter-in-law to get her womb tested for determining the Gender (not sex, because before her birth is decided her life) of the baby. This is also your obituary if you tortured a woman for dowry. This is your obituary because you died inside the day you lurked at a woman as a sex object, and yours too if no matter how much you loved your wife, you beat her up at home in order to showcase your masculinity, the strength of being a man – powerful.

This is your obituary too if you as a woman tortured another for not following the gender norms, social rules. This is the obituary of those innumerable men and women who at some point or another didn’t realize that it is their duty to stand up and fight for humanity, womanhood, even if they are not facing anything themselves; after all watching in silence is a crime too.

An obituary of the numerous politicians who fail to recognize what an important issue women’s safety is, who call a woman ‘dented and painted‘ if she makes a choice, who tell women who are sex workers that they are criminals, who think that all women’s issues are not of national importance. This is an obituary to those numerous women who are swimming deep in power, strong enough to shut out the voices in their head, voices of women who are in pain. This is an obituary to those youngsters who find happiness is all about material assets while they walk past that woman who is being tortured by her family, and those who bear the torture thrown upon them too. An obituary of those educated, cultured and so-called high-class people sitting in offices thinking of how to ignore these daily reports of gang rapes, rapes, dowry deaths and suicides of women, yes this is it.

The day you thought that feminism was all about women, you died. The day you thought that those women who fight for their rights can be silenced by being harassed, tortured, abused or raped, you died. The day you thought that a woman is not equal to a man in terms of human rights and freedom, you died. The day you made bread out of a career in this field, silently torturing women around you in your house, you died. The day patriarchy was logical to you, you died. The day you thought that your wife should only be born to feed, reproduce and take care of you, you died. The day you thought that women are the weaker sex, yes, you my friend died.

While Patriarchy crippled us, the National history of women’s movements and support haven’t been of any help either. This is an obituary of the past, the hard work done to create a global uproar by women in this land of hungry monsters, men and women both. This is an obituary of a failed national system of governance, of the law, of the policies, of the family culture and dynamics that fails to teach us as citizens, as humans, the difference between right and wrong, the difference between crime and punishment, the difference between human and evil.

As I write this, I am in a lot of pain. Writing on behalf of those hundreds of women who left this land of living hell to may be a better place far far away, for their voices went with them, for their unspoken pains will never be penned. And as I write, I feel another pain towards those many more who are living in hell here.  I am saddened, also a little disgusted at the sight of those laughing men and women who escape the heinous crimes they commit against women, and at the faces of victory of those who help them escape.

Those policemen who bring shame to women, yes, you are trusted upon the task to protect, and when you do inhuman deeds, I am ashamed. To those hundreds of lawyers, doctors, teachers, politicians, bureaucrats, parents, management gurus, celebrities, and yes media professionals, sadly this is an obituary of the educated, polished, looked-up-to (down by me) you.

Dharnas for issues as low as demanding a certain person to walk away from his job seem to be taking over the freedom movements of women. While the media can’t stop talking about the baby of a celebrity, the woman who was brutally raped by 12 men, and one who was killed seems to be an issue of less national importance. Today, this is an obituary of all those moments where the media and people have let us down. This is an obituary, of not one or two but those unaccounted men and women around who think women’s rights and issues concerned are not of immediate importance.

Sadly, this will remain just another piece of a voice among those many different voices that are being shouted from the corner of every village, town and state of India. When a woman is killed somewhere, or tortured, a little part of humanity dies every second. This is a sad reminder that India has become a land where economy takes over human rights, where people fight for a statement made by an opponent before they fight for a raped woman, where she is just another case dumped in the pile of files in a court, making her life worth nothing more than a few sessions of court room drama.

Do I rest my case or is my Case adjourned? This is my obituary to a dying, prosperous land which is economically growing but somewhere has become hollow inside. While you read this, yet another rape case, a case of suicide of a woman will be making headlines. I wonder how do you sleep?

May your soulless bodies Never Rest in Peace.

This post was originally published at Women's Web: http://www.womensweb.in/2014/01/violence-against-women-india/

Action & Reaction: How would a woman react if she is the victim?

“I was around 20 years old, young and still in college. Starting to make up a career in Development Sector. The reason being the very passion towards people, equality and humanity, I knew I had chosen a path that would make me happy from my core. Little did I know, that there are predators waiting for girls like me to fall in the web of seduction? Little did I know that the career I was selecting for the reason that it was “all about humanity”, was in real as dirty as it can get.” she said. And all I had was questions in my head as I saw her tears roll down her red cheeks.  All I had were hazy images of men looking at my breasts as I spoke to them instead of talking to my face. All I had were the hazy voices in my ears on the many remarks I had heard walking down the lanes of villages in India. I realized, how every woman is at the same point, how everyone is scared to react and fight back.

The Tehelka debate and the presence of Sexual Harassment at work place has raised some very critical questions for all of us.  It is not something new. It has been happening. Hush-Hush as it may be, what the Tehelka issue has done is brought it into the open. Nobody can run away from the fact that it is not just the Media sector where this is happening. But I am not here talking about the issue. I believe it is important for us to discuss why and how has this act affected the victim, and many more victims who have gone through the same situation time and again, only that they never gathered the courage to come and speak out in public.

The victim here, even being a journalist is finding it tough to survive the acquisitions and the torture after the original torturous act (RAPE). Her family is being threatened to step back, her emails are being circulated all over and her identity is out, so is her character being questioned. This reminds me of a movie dialogue where they said that a rape victim is raped multiple times at the court as she fights for her rights. That being a reality in India, social repercussions of her coming out and fighting for her rights are making her life miserable. Also, shunning many other women to speak up against the tortures happening with them, though promoting a few too initially. We have to accept the fact that here the victim is an educated women who knows her rights. Which is a rare thing in India where many a women have no clue about what they are not entitled to go through (read: Domestic Violence, Marital Rape etc). We also have to accept to the fact that reason why this case is so widely being discussed is because it involves a high profile Media Professional who has a history of reporting rights and wrongs. That being said, my question to myself is, will this be done if it is a case of a young dalit girl being abused by her employer in a village area? No right? How many times have we heard about a case from a local area in similar way? It’s a rare possibility for it to even come out as a news report in a newspaper column. And however irrational my debate here might sound, to me every woman is equal and needs protection and safety net developed, environment conducive enough for her to stand up for her rights.

On one hand while this is happening, on the other hand, we as a world are talking about 16 days of Activism for Violence Against Women (VAW).  The slogans “Color your world Orange” and “Stand for the cause of Violence Against Women” are all over everywhere. To me however, they make little sense, as it is only saying and no action. There are laws, there are systems, there are NGOs-National Commission for Women-UN etc. And while all these systems exist in India, the only place where we fail is our social structure. The fact that it would be a social disgust if a woman comes out and shares how she was violated, how her body was targeted makes it impossible for any commission, any NGO to function properly. Little done than said? The end result: ineffective and failed systems and policies.

Fast track courts and FIRs happen at a later stage i.e. once a woman has filed a case. What to me is a question is the point where a woman has to decide weather or not she will file the case or speak up? And that is the point where she thinks about the repercussions on her family, on her own future. And that is the point where I know that maximum women give up and happily live with the fact that there is no point fighting for it. She would fake a smile, be scared to travel yet do it, look at every colleague and employer with suspicion while she dresses to avoid any direct attack on her (because society thinks its to do with dressing).

And while I discuss this, lets go back to where we started. The story of it happening in Development Sector tells us how Action isn’t present even in the place where much is being talked about it. If a place that talks about action is a ground for such activities to happen, how do you expect a woman to react? How do you expect a woman to fight back? What will she do if the very people who are supposed to be helping her fight back are the ones doing the crime? When is it that enough is enough?

With all this and many more thoughts in my head, I sleep to wake up with hope that things would be better. But will they be if we don’t start the process at home itself? Will policies be effective if our judicial system fails to recognize the severity of the crime, the prevelance and so something strong about it rather than making the victim’s character societally raped by many a multiple times? Will it happen unless families of the criminal stop protecting them from it? Will it happen until we start doing what we preach & teach to all?

Be the change? Yes, very inspirational. But how far can one survive? Do we have positive stories to learn from? I am as clueless as any woman but I know that if things have to change, this is the time. Or its never going to happen. Support the victims around you, save yourself from becoming one, fight for every woman who faces this because it’s a Global cause and not just “her”story.