Stars above me, fire within me

I have this silent rage that makes me restless inside

On face I am calm, confident and carry a smile

I try to hide, I laugh it and keep it aside

It crawls back to me, tells me to sort otherwise it will pile.

The life in my city is super swift, super fast

The sound, the lights and the thousands of people around,

They make me feel lifeless, hollow and empty, alone in a land so vast

The happiness is lost somewhere or still hiding, waiting to be found.

As I leave the crowd, the silence in countryside calls me aloud

Tells me that these are my roots, the roots of my soul

Brings back my smile, my heart beat make a normal sound

Make me wonder relevance of my life in this world, question my role

On one side is this city with building oh so tall!

On the other side lies a sky with stars shining so bright

The artificial world around makes me feel so small

If I could run away from the city, I just always might!

But I know I miss the city after a certain point

Because that’s my life, where I belong

Live in the moment, the words echo from every joint

And with a smile and a solution I sing my lullaby song

Today I sleep, with a smile as thousands of stars blanket me

No lights around but still I shine so bright

They make me feel blessed, they make me feel free

With a wish that they stay with me forever, I hug them tight!

(Written during a visit to a small village in South India. Cheers to random thoughts keeping me alive)

Go find your Mahatma!

In the year of 2007, I was strolling in this bookstore and happen to lay my hands on a book by RK Narayan by the name “Waiting for Mahatma”. I had just started working in the field of development and while I was on a journey to pursue my passion as my career, I was always looking for inspiring stories that would make my passion grow. While the book described one of the stories of the great legend that Mahatma Gandhi was, for me it made a lot of difference as I started to search my Mahatma.

I have always believed that there isn’t anything called as an idol for me. I don’t believe in the concept, like I don’t believe in ideal. And so, for me to tag one person as  ‘Mahatma’, was coming out to be very difficult. I often used to sit down and just rewind my life to experience the different times of life where I had felt inspired. Who helped me, who made me feel wow, who made me believe in myself, who made me want to do things more passionately, the questions were unending. And thereby, a lot of faces popped in and popped out.

Somehow, I came to the realization that I am definitely not that kind of person who would have a role model. I was inspired by my father’s hard work, my mother’s passion for people’s happiness, that Hindi teacher at school who made me confident about myself, my school principle who made me believe in commitment to ones responsibilities, my college teacher who made me realize that you are ok to have your favorites.. The list was unending. Everyday I would add one person to the list who had inspired me in someway or the other. But the problem was that nomatter how hard I tried I could not figure out that one person I would call my role model, my Mahatma.

And then the bulb lit! I came down to understand that the phrase “Go find your Mahatma” had more to do with getting inspired than with who inspires. Over the past few years, I have met many people while my travel from small villages in corners of the country to other nations and multi national people. There have been those homemaker women trying to find a position in their own homes that have inspired me. So has that one man who was trying to bring awareness for masses through community media even at the age of 75. And I have learnt and got inspired from many. Today, when I hear the phrase “Go find your Mahatma”, I feel excited because the wide range of people that have played Mahatma for me at various stages of my life have made my passion for my work even more stronger. They have made me realize how important it is for me to stay afloat and keep the battle going.

Its 2013, and while my trip to Ahemadabad I recalled how Gandhi and his life had inspired me in my past many years of working with people. The anger and impatience was dealt much better, the thinking about last first helped and the back to basics concept kept me solving complex problems. I realize how different people have shown me different angles to life and how it has made me know myself more, know the situations in more depth. I realize, how I have grown, have developed. 

And as I walk down today, I look around and get inspired every second of my life. Trust me, go find your Mahatma and stay Inspired!