Question: “Hey, where are you from?”
While I have been asked this question many a times at many
places by a variety of people in a variety of manner, I am always quiet
surprised by the kind of reaction my answer gets. There is something about
Indians trying to know where the other person is from. And my answer to this
question being “DELHI”, you should not be surprised, gets the most amazing and
weirdest reactions.
The first time I experienced this in person was in 2009.
Well, I had experienced it many a times before as well, but this was when I
faced the reaction in person. Generally the situation in which this question
had been popped on me was where my interaction with the person was only for a
few minutes, typical places being airports, resorts, and railway stations etc.
But in 2009 as I went on my first ever stay out of Delhi alone, I experienced
and lived the tag of being a “Delhi Girl” for three whole months.
In the city of Patna when the people I was about to live my
life with as a paying guest for next 3 months gave me a LOOK on my reply, I got
the first shock of my life. I was 21 years old. And this being my first ever
living outside Delhi (yes yes, I am born and brought up in Delhi) came as a
shock to me. There was a sudden change in attitude towards me and everyone
around was attempting to make me realize how much cooler they are. I was very
confused. For start, I didn’t see any difference between me and them at all.
Also, the confusion hailed from the fact that I failed to understand the logic
of being from Delhi, and that too a “Delhi Girl” made me any different from the
other team mate I had (except for the fact, she was from America, and a Korean
by origin).
And there I was at 21 struggling with what difference does
it make if I am from Delhi and here I am 26 writing this story from a small
town in Himachal Pradesh still struggling with “Oh! You are a Delhi Girl” attitude.
Nothing has changed in this regard while I have experienced the same reactions,
even worse at various places. I am still confused and I still fail to
understand what I should do about it.
Over the past 5 years, I have traveled. From Patna, to
Singapore, to Ohio to Texas, Seattle, Orissa, Kolkata, Gujarat, Haryana, New
York… cities and towns, villages and even smaller settlements. And my
interactions with people in these places and their reactions to my being a
“Delhi Girl” can be categorized in the following two kinds:
- The Haters: I call the people in this category as the ones who look at Delhi with the eyes of envy. Typically educated and informed, they either want to be a part of Delhi or they simply cant understand why their cities cant be any cooler. I mean, I love Delhi, yes! But I think that does not negate the fact that every city has its own charm. But, coming back to these people. A lot of them are my friends by the way now. But they describe to me a very different version of how I see myself. For them a girl from Delhi is a brat who not only over-shows how she is way cooler and knows everything but also has a sense of superiority, which lacks any knowledge. Basically, a girl who has no brains but thinks she has it all. The situation is so worse at times that as soon as people hear me being from Delhi, they stop recognizing anything I do as authentic and having any substance. There is a sense of discomfort along with becoming blind and deaf to anything I do and being from Development sector, I find myself in worst situation. My personal experiences have made me hear things like these: “Oh, you are from Delhi, we should keep a distance”, “oh, Delhi..hmm..ok” “ohhhh, Delhi? Hahh” While gestures and actions speak louder then words, sometimes the words are strong enough to leave no stone unturned for me to get into an uncomfortable situation.
- The Lovers: These are those people who adore anybody who comes from Delhi. They welcome anyone with open arms after knowing they are from Delhi and always try to show how they are somewhere linked to Delhi. “Oh, my uncle’s aunt’s son’s daughter is living in Delhi (in reality: Gurgaon)”, “I have been to Delhi..(like some 8-10 years ago) etc.. and While they are surely adorable set of people, they also try to tell you how cooler they are. Sometimes, I have ended up getting marriage offers from this category people (they want someway get connected to Delhi).
I am personally, amused by both Lovers and Haters but it
is the Haters who are more difficult
to mold themselves and break the image they have of Delhi. They have developed
a stereotype based on one or two girls from Delhi they have met in person (who,
by the way are not even originally from Delhi but have studied in Delhi or
something).. To be brutally honest, I have seen majority of girls around me
also falling in this category and I realize that the image these people have build
of girls from Delhi isn’t wrong totally. Stereotypes after all are built by
experiences and they obviously have had their encounters with the typical Delhi
girls (I hate that term, though, but still). Well, I struggle at times but the
walls that are built around me based on my city make it difficult for me to
function in my work life. It is a challenge I face every single time I am out
of Delhi, in Orissa or even in Boston (I have an amazing Boston story to tell,
but that for later).
I am breaking stereotypes and I like it. I am a Delhi girl
but I am moldable, I am flexible in the kind of lifestyle I live and I owe my
education and my upbringing at home for this. I also feel that a lot of girls
from Delhi are like me but we are overshadowed by the ones who carry a good for
nothing attitude. (I am not trying to demean anyone but this is the truth!!)
Success in changing attitude of people has been huge. I have
made some great friends who have realized I am not even an inch of the image
they carry in their heads and some of them love me for doing that. On the other
hand, I thank them for opening my eyes to a whole new world of “how people see
Delhi girls” and even “how I see Delhi girls”.. Yes, at times, they are dumb
but in this era of movement and swiftness, we shouldn’t tag anyone based on the
city they live in.
(Cheers to breaking stereotypes! I am in process of researching this whole issue and definitely, there are many angles to it.. Read later for more)
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