“Indian
Mythologies and (nearly) all religions demean women. How can you out of all the
women I know be religious”, said a male friend with whom I was debating about
religion since past two hours. We sat at the Indian Restaurant in the most
Global city in the world (New York) discussing our Indian roots and their
impact on women. This was just after the December (2012) Delhi Rape incident
had taken place. And we were just reacting like any other Indian sitting anywhere
on the globe was.
And
then, here I was in August 2013 sitting and watching episodes of Mahabharata
(the popular Indian Mythology dramatized on TV again) thinking how women have
been portrayed in popular TV, Magazines, Films, Advertisements and yes, books.
This thought had taken me back to that and many more discussions of my life
where I was debated with, agreed along by friends and acquaintances on
portrayal of women everywhere around us. Suddenly, everything seemed wrong as I
struggled with finding roots of the multiple problems women face in even
today’s progressive times.
Being
a Hindu (by birth) doesn’t define my opinion about religion at all. I question
and have questioned my parents, elders and even pandits at every point I have found illogical to me. From why a
girl cannot light her parents pyre to why is it that during Mensuration women
are not allowed to enter the temple. Who defines all this? When I look back,
this debate takes me to my Women Studies class on Manu Smriti (is the
most important and earliest metrical work of the Dharmasastra textual tradition of Hinduism) who defined rules of
action and laws of work for every person on the earth, shaped the way Women are
to be looked at in society, their roles and rules of conduct thereby defined.
Lets take a few for example from the Manusmriti text:
-
“Swabhav ev narinam …..” – 2/213. It is the nature of women to
seduce men in this world; for that reason the wise are never unguarded in the
company of females.
My
Question: How do we see it today? Women are taken as mere objects of seduction.
They are portrayed as mere objects.
-
“Matra swastra ………..” – 2/215. Wise people should avoid sitting
alone with one’s mother, daughter or sister. Since carnal desire is always
strong, it can lead to temptation.
Thought:
And yes, is that the reason why no man feels strong enough to control his
desire in front of women and ends up raping them????
-
“Shudram shaynam……” –
3/17. A Brahman who marries a Shudra woman, degrades himself and his whole family,
becomes morally degenerated , loses Brahman status and his children too attain
status of shudra.
Thought: I have always questioned caste system but this one is
beyond my understanding. And till date, we accept that? (I know cities are
changing but we know why Honor Killings are prevalent even in today’s India)
-
“Mrshyanti…………….” – 4/217. One should not accept meals from a
woman who has extra marital relations; nor from a family exclusively
dominated/managed by women or a family whose 10 days of impurity because of
death have not passed.
Thought: And who defines this? Who is anybody to define the
moral conduct of a woman and her interaction with others. If rules are rules,
they should be for all: both men & women. (However, these don’t make any
sense to me).
-
“Balye pitorvashay…….” – 5/151. Girls are supposed to be in the
custody of their father when they are children, women must be under the custody
of their husband when married and under the custody of her son as widows. In no
circumstances is she allowed to assert herself independently.
Thought: And how does our world see the women who are
independent? As characterless, as somebody who is breaking norms. Is she
appreciated? No.
-
“Asheela kamvrto………” – 5/157. Men may be lacking virtue,
be sexual perverts, immoral and devoid of any good qualities, and yet women
must constantly worship and serve their husbands.
Thought: Wow, and if you are still wondering how “Mera Pati
Mera Bhagwan” dialogue comes from in all the movies, here is your answer.
- “Ya to kanya…………….” – 8/369.
In case a woman tears the membrane [hymen] of her Vagina, she shall instantly
have her head shaved or two fingers cut off and made to ride on Donkey.
Thought: The
classical virginity issue. Have we ever wondered who has implanted these
thoughts in the minds of Indian men? Here is your answer.
The more I read
about Indian women and roots of our problems this is where I land on. Our
religions have defined how our society has looked upon the women of the land,
their rules and regulations, their doings and undoings, their sanctity and
survival in this world where “Men define the rules”. And while I write this, I
am conscious enough that we have a category of men and women who don’t follow
it, but lets agree on the fact that this category is very small in proportion
to define the societal norms, especially in rural India. And as I write this, I
also give another disclaimer to those who think its just Hinduism that degrades
women. I have seen texts of origin in Muslims too. For me, the whole ideologies
that these religions are based on are a slap to the very existence of women in
the society. If your religion tells you, you need a son to light your pyre
after death or you wont gain Moksha (salvation),
why wont you kill female fetuses and infants in order to fulfill your desire
for a son. When your religion tells you that a woman cannot enter the temple or
kitchen premises during her “that time of the month”, why wont even women
around her make her feel impure and unhealthy to touch pickles? Justified? Not
to me.
Our religion has
shaped our society and thinking of the beings. Of these beings have arrived the
people who have made tele-serials, movies, advertisements and written stories
and books. The scripting has happened in such a way that the end product is in
front of us. We have written the fate of women in such a way that all we see
around today is rape, domestic violence, female foeticides, work-space
harassment, and many more severe and less severe crimes against women. I feel
happy seeing a change around when a woman becomes the CEO, when a woman becomes
a Police officer, when a woman steps out and does something beyond what is
expected behavior for her. Change is happening, but change is slow with respect
to rising inhuman acts against women.
In today’s time,
we are in need of “re-scripting”. We need to redesign the way women are looked at, redefine the boxed norms she is expected to live her life with, reshape her future. The whole decades
and hundreds of years old script prewritten for every woman needs a re-scripting,
done by her, individually, as she wants. And in that process, revivals in the
way stories are told needs to happen. We need more movies on liberated
successful women, more novels depicting women as choice makers for themselves,
more tele-serials where women move beyond dressing dolls and kitchen roles. I
think it is for a woman to define what kind of role she wants: in kitchen, or
at a desk instructing people. Choices being personal, nothing is demeaning,
nothing should be forced.
Lets Re-script!
This (a shorter version of this post) was originally posted on Women's Web (the online magazine) at
http://www.womensweb.in/2013/11/religions-on-women/
http://www.womensweb.in/2013/11/religions-on-women/
