Fighting Female Foeticide: Stories From A Typical Day At Work

The story below is a real life experience of the author during a session on female foeticide in a village in Haryana.

This is the first of  two stories: one from a day at work in a village, and another from her own life in a city, both revolving around female foeticide & preference for sons – making it clear that the issue has nothing to do with urban-rural settings.

“They will keep on asking me to reproduce till they get a son for the family.”

—x———-x———–

In 2005, during a project in my undergrad school, I did a secondary research project on the issue of Female Foeticide and Son Preference in India. In 2011-12, I was traveling from one village to another in Haryana, conducting sessions with men and women to create awareness, answer queries, and to try changing mindsets of the people on the issue of the girl child, female foeticide, and son preference.

In these years, I had worked with a few organizations on the issue, assisted my sister on her project relating to the same, done behavior change campaigns, and developed innovative communication tools for the same. Yet, I stood there,  facing the dilemma of why, how, and when. 

The Scenario

At the meeting to raise questions

During one of my visits, I traveled into a small village of one of the states with a terrible Male-Female Sex Ratio. I am comfortable interacting with a group of not more than 35-50 people. A small group like that is more interactive, can be handled much more easily, with a better flow of communication- especially on such crucial social issues.

When I reached the venue, I saw a crowd of 200 men and women sitting, divided by the aisle. On one side, sat the men with their turbans. On the other, were the women with their veils crossing their chin. Now this was a little complicated scenario for me. I knew that both categories of my participants appreciated this brutal form of killing and violation of the right to be born; favoring males as the carriers of traditions and family name.

 I knew that both categories of my participants appreciated this brutal form of killing and violation of the right to be born; favoring males as the carriers of traditions and family name.

The Root

The problem of patriarchy, son preference, and women being ignored has deep linkages with every cause I ever took up in the villages with respect to women’s rights and gender issues (violence, education, nutrition, dowry, child marriage etc). The problem was that not only men but even the women followed the so-called traditional methods, thereby creating more disparity.

The problem was also the lack of communication between the men and women, on any social issue. I learnt one thing from this: in order to solve any problem with respect to rights of Women (economic, social, or political ) we need to engage and bring on the same level both the genders of the communities – to discuss and understand.

The problem was also the lack of communication between the men and women, on any social issue.

So there I was, happy to realize that this was one of the most amazing opportunities I could ever have, to make the two interact. I knew the risks were huge. I could be shamed, accused, or worse – thrown out of the village for trying to break the age old systems of functioning and change  the lack of communication between the two genders. But, I realized it was worth the risk.

The Act

As I stood there, I realized that to get the best of reactions, it was important for me to startle my audience with something controversial. And I started with my story. The story of my ancestral home, where son preference was a very commonly accepted norm. I started sharing what I saw as a young daughter to how I became a woman. And as I did this, I threw in my series of snapshots and films I always worked with when interacting in the communities.

I stood there, with a microphone in my hand, amongst the crowd of men and women, asking them why, how, and when. The same questions that I had been carrying with me even after so many years of working on the issue.

Now I had known a few answers all this while. Who will light the pyre of the parents? A son is the gateway to Moksha! A daughter is a source of misery! Who will carry forward the family name and lineage? Who will feed the parents in their old age? Take care of the women?! Why go through dowry? Safety of women? Who will be the man?

The reason I stood there with those questions every time was because I knew I would end up getting a new set of answers, every single time.

The Reactions

One elderly woman turned to me and shouted out loud, saying that I have gone mad to think that its okay to not have a son. This is how she explained the cycle (translated from Haryanvi):

“The world needs men. If a son is born in the family, he takes care of the family, carries the name forward, helps earn money, and feed the members, is safe and does not need to be taken care of (body-wise). He gives dowry for the family’s daughters, takes care of the future rituals (chhuchhak, bhaat etc), protects the family lineage, gives more sons to the house, stays with the parents, lights the pyre and helps achieve moksha (salvation)…

What will we do if we do not have son to do all this? These days the younger generation is having fewer kids. We tell them to not get the foetus aborted, but what is the solution if they want a son? They have to get it cleaned before it turns older (abortion). And now tell me, why should we not promote female foeticide?”

“…And now tell me, why should we not promote female foeticide?”

An old man agreed to the above stated ‘facts’, but also explained how they never pushed the women to have only sons. Every woman agreed that they had gone through so much torture in their lives that having a son meant high social status in the family as she was the carrier.

Slowly, as the discussion garnered more comments and reactions, I saw a chattering crowd of men and women debating on why and why not. A lot of the women with daughters agreed with me, and a lot accused me of trying to change “how it has been”. I stood there smiling internally because I had initiated a major conversation that had been missing from the community, which had accepted female foeticide as the norm.

As I made them see the future of a land without women, a land with a high crime rate, a land where women handled every task that the old lady had mentioned, a lot of the protesters went silent. I had no clue how and what it was going to lead to (the session was a part of a project) but I was hopeful that I had initiated at least a thought which was missing from the majority of the crowd.

A picture of the future  is important. What happens if we keep on going like this? When people realize that it’s not healthy to go on like we are going, the fear increases and chances are many that it will change to a “something should be done” attitude. When a picture of “no women in next 5 years if you keep on killing girls” was shown, people started realizing the value of girls, daughters, wives, mothers.

The Cycle of Change

While a baby cannot be born just with an egg of the mother and needs the sperm of the father, similar is the case with rearing the child. I have seen that in rural areas in India, if a woman works, she takes part in the decision making of the house in the smallest and biggest matters, she has an opinion on the children’s future, and that opinion is heard and valued.

It is important for women in rural areas to realize that the need to change is now, and education is very important. Not just schooling but also awareness and capacity building – which can help develop the logical self, in defining and deciding what is right and what is wrong.

It is important for women in rural areas to realize that the need to change is now, and education is very important. Not just schooling but also awareness and capacity building.

It’s a researched fact that Education has led to understanding and realization of choices, which has further led to economic empowerment and sharing of responsibilities. We can say that the community heritage is a reason too, but education is a founding backbone of the process.

The implementation of policies along with training at the grassroots is crucial, too. Unless people see the reason why change is required strongly, people wont change. And for that to happen, in India atleast, a multi-pronged approach with both Behaviour Change Campaigns and policy level implementations is required.

The Behaviour Change Campaigns need to be community specific/state specific with exhaustive research (using methods like Positive Deviance) to be used to define Why and How and Whom (W’s) of the campaign with participation by the people, for the people. A simple campaign on the Community radios running in the villages can create a change in many homes.

Community Media, and Mass media need to collaborate on common guidelines-based messages that should percolate the homes through edutainment based methods (TV shows, radio programs), in a very subtle way in order to make it a casual process, avoiding rebellion by elders.

I believe and I think it is crucial that the idea should move beyond just saying and towards more doing.  We need strategic methods with constant evaluation in order to stay on track.

That day, at the end of the session, a young woman working with the police came to me. She explained her story as the other young girls hopped around. I saw hope, I saw challenges, I saw passion to make things work. I realized, I cannot give up on the society so easily. I also realized that things can be worked around, but the start has to be made now.

There are a few deviant stories around where girls have been born despite all challenges and have managed to turn into inspiring stories for other to learn from. The challenge is to find these stories and convert them into a norm instead of being an exception.

The cycle of oppression that women go through in their lifetime needs to change. I came back from the session, hopeful and positive for many more deviant stories for us all to learn from. This was not, after all, just another day at work.

This article was originally published at womens web. 

Diary of an Oxymoron

Calm me down, I m back to panic mode 

Throw some water before I explode

Beyond the mode, lies a story untold 

Don't let it be buried, layer by layer it should unfold 

For we need to speak or else it stays 

Inside as trouble, then the future pays 

But think before u say it all 

It might just make u fall, n crawl 

The art of telling a tale is tough 

If done wrong, it might be rough 

For what u tell is not what ppl hear 

It might take things far, instead of making ppl near 

Honesty, is hard to digest 

But that's what all it is about the test

Speak up or shut down, u have to decide 

Whatever the result be, take it in ur stride! 

Things that don't make sense to me

Not much to say, still I will if I may
The mind is stuck, with words I play

The dry ketchup on the bottle makes me mad
Whom do i blame: sister, mom or dad

That window pane which is not clean
That woman in my family who is unnecessarily mean

Those little bobbins on my sweater
Those freckles on my face could be better

The little snoring noise around at night
Tiffs and irritations have their own fight

People telling me how imperfect is my life
Poking their nose, in real and my business, my strife

That freezing glass of water in weather so cold
What to be done, why am I told

My undone hair, I think I might like
But what i don't are people with funny spike

Why do people lie at drop of a hat
Should I slap them or their shoulders in pity should I pat

Blame me, cause I judge one and all
But I don't judge them for their struggles, pains and the rise & fall

Blame me, cause the nonsense around is making me little sad
All in the end I have is, this world Oh my dear is a lot mad

Should I hate or love, like or not,
I respect spaces, that is what (from life) I have been taught

Senseless, oh so numb I am turning
But still more to the world am craving and yearning

Of Palaces, Mythologies and Images Women carry

“Indian Mythologies and (nearly) all religions demean women. How can you out of all the women I know be religious”, said a male friend with whom I was debating about religion since past two hours. We sat at the Indian Restaurant in the most Global city in the world (New York) discussing our Indian roots and their impact on women. This was just after the December (2012) Delhi Rape incident had taken place. And we were just reacting like any other Indian sitting anywhere on the globe was.

And then, here I was in August 2013 sitting and watching episodes of Mahabharata (the popular Indian Mythology dramatized on TV again) thinking how women have been portrayed in popular TV, Magazines, Films, Advertisements and yes, books. This thought had taken me back to that and many more discussions of my life where I was debated with, agreed along by friends and acquaintances on portrayal of women everywhere around us. Suddenly, everything seemed wrong as I struggled with finding roots of the multiple problems women face in even today’s progressive times.

Being a Hindu (by birth) doesn’t define my opinion about religion at all. I question and have questioned my parents, elders and even pandits at every point I have found illogical to me. From why a girl cannot light her parents pyre to why is it that during Mensuration women are not allowed to enter the temple. Who defines all this? When I look back, this debate takes me to my Women Studies class on Manu Smriti (is the most important and earliest metrical work of the Dharmasastra textual tradition of Hinduism) who defined rules of action and laws of work for every person on the earth, shaped the way Women are to be looked at in society, their roles and rules of conduct thereby defined.

Lets take a few for example from the Manusmriti text:

-       “Swabhav ev narinam …..” – 2/213. It is the nature of women to seduce men in this world; for that reason the wise are never unguarded in the company of females.

My Question: How do we see it today? Women are taken as mere objects of seduction. They are portrayed as mere objects.

-       “Matra swastra ………..” – 2/215. Wise people should avoid sitting alone with one’s mother, daughter or sister. Since carnal desire is always strong, it can lead to temptation.

Thought: And yes, is that the reason why no man feels strong enough to control his desire in front of women and ends up raping them????

-        “Shudram shaynam……” – 3/17. A Brahman who marries a Shudra woman, degrades himself and his whole family, becomes morally degenerated , loses Brahman status and his children too attain status  of shudra.

Thought: I have always questioned caste system but this one is beyond my understanding. And till date, we accept that? (I know cities are changing but we know why Honor Killings are prevalent even in today’s India)

-       “Mrshyanti…………….” – 4/217. One should not accept meals from a woman who has extra marital relations; nor from a family exclusively dominated/managed by women or a family whose 10 days of impurity because of death have not passed.

Thought: And who defines this? Who is anybody to define the moral conduct of a woman and her interaction with others. If rules are rules, they should be for all: both men & women. (However, these don’t make any sense to me).

-       “Balye pitorvashay…….” – 5/151. Girls are supposed to be in the custody of their father when they are children, women must be under the custody of their husband when married and under the custody of her son as widows. In no circumstances is she allowed to assert herself independently.

Thought: And how does our world see the women who are independent? As characterless, as somebody who is breaking norms. Is she appreciated? No.

-       “Asheela  kamvrto………” – 5/157. Men may be lacking virtue, be sexual perverts, immoral and devoid of any good qualities, and yet women must constantly worship and serve their husbands.

Thought: Wow, and if you are still wondering how “Mera Pati Mera Bhagwan” dialogue comes from in all the movies, here is your answer.

-       “Ya to kanya…………….” – 8/369. In case a woman tears the membrane [hymen] of her Vagina, she shall instantly have her head shaved or two fingers cut off and made to ride on Donkey.

Thought: The classical virginity issue. Have we ever wondered who has implanted these thoughts in the minds of Indian men? Here is your answer.

The more I read about Indian women and roots of our problems this is where I land on. Our religions have defined how our society has looked upon the women of the land, their rules and regulations, their doings and undoings, their sanctity and survival in this world where “Men define the rules”. And while I write this, I am conscious enough that we have a category of men and women who don’t follow it, but lets agree on the fact that this category is very small in proportion to define the societal norms, especially in rural India. And as I write this, I also give another disclaimer to those who think its just Hinduism that degrades women. I have seen texts of origin in Muslims too. For me, the whole ideologies that these religions are based on are a slap to the very existence of women in the society. If your religion tells you, you need a son to light your pyre after death or you wont gain Moksha (salvation), why wont you kill female fetuses and infants in order to fulfill your desire for a son. When your religion tells you that a woman cannot enter the temple or kitchen premises during her “that time of the month”, why wont even women around her make her feel impure and unhealthy to touch pickles? Justified? Not to me.

Our religion has shaped our society and thinking of the beings. Of these beings have arrived the people who have made tele-serials, movies, advertisements and written stories and books. The scripting has happened in such a way that the end product is in front of us. We have written the fate of women in such a way that all we see around today is rape, domestic violence, female foeticides, work-space harassment, and many more severe and less severe crimes against women. I feel happy seeing a change around when a woman becomes the CEO, when a woman becomes a Police officer, when a woman steps out and does something beyond what is expected behavior for her. Change is happening, but change is slow with respect to rising inhuman acts against women.

In today’s time, we are in need of “re-scripting”. We need to redesign the way women are looked at, redefine the boxed norms she is expected to live her life with, reshape her future. The whole decades and hundreds of years old script prewritten for every woman needs a re-scripting, done by her, individually, as she wants. And in that process, revivals in the way stories are told needs to happen. We need more movies on liberated successful women, more novels depicting women as choice makers for themselves, more tele-serials where women move beyond dressing dolls and kitchen roles. I think it is for a woman to define what kind of role she wants: in kitchen, or at a desk instructing people. Choices being personal, nothing is demeaning, nothing should be forced.

Lets Re-script!

This (a shorter version of this post) was originally posted on Women's Web (the online magazine) at 
http://www.womensweb.in/2013/11/religions-on-women/

Marriage & What Men Want

“The struggle exists, at every level”, said a friend to me.

And there began my quest to get into his shoes and understand what is going on in the man’s mind. Now, Lets be honest. Everyone thinks its hard to decipher a woman’s mind but I must tell you its no joke for a woman to understand what goes in a man’s head too. A lot of books have been written to understand the opposite gender (not sex) but to me this particular instance with a friend threw a lot of light on this aspect being never discussed.

Confused? Well. Lets reverse the story a little. I have a lot of friends who are getting into the “married” tag and during a discussion with one of my friend who is planning to get married too I realized that need for a daughter-in-law is often being challenged by the need for a wife. With the changing times (haha! Women stepping out for work), a man finds himself being questioned at every level just like a woman does. A lot of articles have talked about how the dual burden on women is taking a toll on them, on how women are out there taking the lead while handling homes too, on how women often are mistaken and how men need to be more supportive and help empower the gender and participate in creating a gender balanced society but I have nowhere read what issues a man faces at this point where on one hand he is trying to do what he has been told he was born for (support his parents) and on the same level have a wife who has an opinion., for whom her choices and points of view matter.

My recent stints with a lot of friends (males) who are planning to get married made me realize that they want a wife who has limited exposure. And while I question this very point of view, I recently realized that the problem is very much in upbringing. I mean, imagine this: a son is born in a family after two daughters and he has been pampered like he is some God. Since childhood he has been taught that he has to take care of the family and he is also given the best of education at the best of B-schools in India/abroad. While he gets a job, he meets this amazing colleague who is gorgeous, has a strong opinion and knows how to take the lead. He likes her, but what are the chances that he will marry her? The debate is not weather the girl will do household chores or not. The debate is that for him, getting a wife who knows her rights well into a house where girls are not even considered as humans brings him to a point where at every level he reconsiders his choices, his likes and his future.

And believe me, there are many men out there who question this every time they think about future. Its not that women who are homemakers aren’t being questioned, but those who are aware definitely need more energy to be molded. The debate is, does he want a girl who will be the ideal bahu or does he want an amazing wife. And while chances are that many women will end up being both, there is a strong chance that he fails in what he decides leading to an unhappy married life, a daily drama.

I write this article as a woman who is a strong supporter of gender balance. I have grown up from being a daughter to a rebel to feminist to a human rights activist. And, trust me, I know there is a thin line between adjustment and sacrifice in marriage, I very well know that the lines are often crossed by both the partners in order to make it work.

So, as a man, if I find myself at a point where I need to balance the beta and pati angles in my life, I know I will be as confused as any woman will be struggling to find her stand in the debate. And this, today has reached a point where the very sanctity of marriage is being questioned because nobody of the two partners seem to find their stand to it.

I give it to the Indian society again which has raised sons and daughters in a way where they have to obey their elders rather for standing up for what they feel is right, logically. I mean, I know truth is very situational and right is very personal but I don’t think that our culture or society has anyway succeeded in raising their children to be logical.  We do what our parents will like, our inlaws will appreciate and society wont consider as alien. And while we have our exceptions, a majority of us still dwindle with this ‘what to do’ wrt marriage.

Currently, a lot of my male friends are also married. And I know how they dwindle with the saas-bahu drama. I know that they married these enterprising young women because they wanted to and now the only debate is the imbalance in personal life, the son-husband sides are creating havoc in their lives. I also know a lot of men who are planning to get married and when they look at this situation, they are scared rather than prepared for the future they will have as choices vs duties situations pop out.

Do I have an advice? No. Do I have an ending to this thought of mine? No. Do I see a root problem? Yes. But can we solve it? Maybe. Stepping in a man’s shoes (haha! This time literally) I realized that there are a lot of struggles that even a man goes through that make him question his choices vs his duties. But at the end what is important? Happiness? Peace? Pick your choice, have a decision, you might fail but then atleast you will be satisfied that it was your decision. Finding happiness after all, which is a state of mind, isn’t that easy.

May God Bless all the men around!

This post was originally posted on Women's Web (the online women magazine) at http://www.womensweb.in/2013/10/what-men-want-from-marriage/

Band, Baaja & Baraat!

With the most cliched and most used words as I start this post, I am in no mood to bring you the amazing fun that attending weddings can be. I am also in no mood at all to discuss any marriage related issue. As December progresses, weddings around are on a rise. Every year during this time, many people decide to take the "taken" road and therein, what comes as an effect to us the viewers/attendees is a series of get ready-reach-smile-eat and come backs!

I bring to you a personal issue I have been facing. And I see it as a very North-Indian Weddings problem. Having attended some 5 weddings and related events (Sagan, Sagai, Sangeet) recently, I realized how the business of weddings is troubling me as an individual. The D Day, should be the day of the Bride and the Groom and their families (close ones). Instead, the whole day is a social show-off day where everyone gets in their best-dramatic-shoes and acts all cranky and tries of put other off. Please keep in mind that the views here are totally personal and a result of personal experiences. Nothing, absolutely Nothing is exaggerated. Anyhow, lets go point by point here:

1. Oh-the-expenses: I have seen dowry, and then what I see today is a very new version to dowry. The 'BAND' here actually is the act of "Band Bajna" of the Bride's family. If not in cash (which is rare) then in the huge pandaal they have to set up and the feast they have to prepare for some 1500 people. The pre-wedding and wedding expenses are one of the reasons why wedding to me seems like an overrated affair. First comes the jewelry and the trousseau for the bride, the extended family & the groom. The insane gifts for all the ones attending with the crazy cash is next in line. If this wasn't enough, then the lawn-food-decorations burn a hole in the pocket (of both bride & groom if its shared, which is rare) and then after all that is done, 20-200 people still get up and speak shit about how the food wasn't good, the fruits weren't from foreign land, the smell of the carpet was killing and the AC wasn't functioning. Result: Mazaa nahi aaya (didn't enjoy)! Common, imagine what you have to hear if you spent some 1 crore on a party and people say they didn't enjoy it! Bahhh! I would be furious! And talking about how inflation is escalating these days, the amount is higher and higher depending on the expectations. 200 kinds of dishes, bride comes in a paalki, flower-shower as the var-mala happens, special silverware for dinner for bride-groom..the list is never ending. And as this happens, you still wonder why girls are looked up as burden? because even in this age when dowry is a crime, people are still expected (educated even more) to give gifts and cars and cash in weddings of their daughter, as if to give a daughter away wasn't enough!

2. Menace to society? Maybe: While I am personally a fan of weddings and the dancing, the chatting, getting glitzy ready, what to me is a pain is the wastage. Wastage of money- wastage of food- wastage of time (coming-going-sitting their waiting for the baaraat to come) is a never ending list! I have personally been to 5 weddings recently, non of which had the Groom appearing before 10 pm, while most of the guests who have arrived have started panicking. I understand its his day but trust me its not him who doesn't want to arrive early, its the crazy dancers who don't want to stop hitting Mother earth as the groom and bride becomes anxious every second wondering when will they get to see each other. The wastage of food that happens post wedding makes me angry on how much money goes down the bin just because families and society love show-off flashing of money. Imagine how many hungry people in the world could have been fed by the amount. Now I don't suggest everyone to donate their money saved for weddings to some charity, neither do i expect that, but just having a more well planned after wedding system might help feed many people around. Just saying!

3. Oh the Traffic: So this is how the day progresses, you start early just to reach on time and avoid traffic but are still caught in it. You wait 45 minutes on one single stretch of road wondering what to do and more so blaming yourself on why you said yes to attend the wedding, you reach the venue late and still find the baraat not their, you get anxious and cranky, no mood to chit-chat but still have to oblige people, reach home even later and sleep wondering gawd, its terrible to attend weddings in wedding season. You blame the world, family, and even the bride-groom for it, swear things won't be like this when u get married or your daughter does and yet- years later the same happens! Trust me when I say this is common! The never ending traffic on road and traffic in the mind that weddings come with are a stress reason strong enough for anyone to panic! And I have been a victim of both!

4. Social Obligations (Bull Shit!):  Get dressed, put on the best looks, smile and yack till everyone is tired. Some people enjoy it, some don't. To me, they are a social obligation I end up fulfilling unless its a close cousin or friend who is getting hitched. Meeting venue for people whom you haven't met in years or saw when you were little make you wonder how the world functions. I am not a social rebel but when it comes to being asked to guess who this uncle or that aunt is whom I had met when I was 2-4-6 year old is no fun to me. I don't like standing in a tight spot wondering why the hell I came to this distant cousins wedding where majority people I am not related to or know for that matter. And yes, having said that when you are single or studying or doing anything the world thinks is not a norm, the series of questions you are shot with are hilarious! Making you wonder why the hell do you have to go according to norm. Weddings after all are a place to make people uncomfortable and judge them till they give up! You can't afford to make an aunt or grandparent or bua-fufa-mama unhappy because you don't want any bad mouth happen. Result: you just smile and adjust!

5. Are the Bride & Groom Happy?:  The last but the most important thing that makes me dislike North Indian Weddings (I haven't visited a South Indian wedding but I think its pretty similar) is the fact that what should be a day for the couple, the one who are getting hitched becomes a day of everyone else except them. They are the ones who have butterflies in the stomach, literally panicking because they don't want anything to go wrong. The multiple chattering, the uncles doing drunk drama around, the annoyed and angry relatives who thought they weren't treated with respect, the anxious and over exhausted parents of the couple: with all of this around, neither do the bride and groom look happy nor at ease. Everyone wants a picture with them, but I know how mostly they aren't even aware who is getting clicked with them. The day that should be all about them ends up being a day for some 1500 people coming-eating-cribbing and going back. Worst if you are related to some high profile big shots celebs who come and take all the lime-light away from the couple. With cameras clicking and flashing lights, I feel sad for the couple! I am sure they look back at the day with smiles but its just sad at times because they all know it could have been better for them.

And as I pen down my mind here, I know that weddings are awesome! They are fun, they can be a pain but the whole jazz makes one look forward to it. I don't judge anyone who negates all the above and says they enjoyed their wedding too much, but I know deep down something or other had happened. I also know that while I would love a just my close-knit ones around me when I get hitched, the social obligations will make me a victim of the Band-Baaja-Baraat! Fingers crossed! A beach side, personal wedding would be a dream to have!

On a lighter note: Happy Married Life to all those whom I have paid a visit to this Winter! I hope you enjoyed every bit of it, though to me it was a tiring affair! Just to end on a fun note, here is a link to one of the funniest Wedding movie made in Indian Cinema! Its a fun dance bollywood style kickass number, so enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i94eL2W0V0

Stars above me, fire within me

I have this silent rage that makes me restless inside

On face I am calm, confident and carry a smile

I try to hide, I laugh it and keep it aside

It crawls back to me, tells me to sort otherwise it will pile.

The life in my city is super swift, super fast

The sound, the lights and the thousands of people around,

They make me feel lifeless, hollow and empty, alone in a land so vast

The happiness is lost somewhere or still hiding, waiting to be found.

As I leave the crowd, the silence in countryside calls me aloud

Tells me that these are my roots, the roots of my soul

Brings back my smile, my heart beat make a normal sound

Make me wonder relevance of my life in this world, question my role

On one side is this city with building oh so tall!

On the other side lies a sky with stars shining so bright

The artificial world around makes me feel so small

If I could run away from the city, I just always might!

But I know I miss the city after a certain point

Because that’s my life, where I belong

Live in the moment, the words echo from every joint

And with a smile and a solution I sing my lullaby song

Today I sleep, with a smile as thousands of stars blanket me

No lights around but still I shine so bright

They make me feel blessed, they make me feel free

With a wish that they stay with me forever, I hug them tight!

(Written during a visit to a small village in South India. Cheers to random thoughts keeping me alive)