On a casual day while driving around the city of Delhi, one tends to notice many things: the endless traffic, the singles-doubles-families around, the lot of people that stare at you because you are a woman driving, and the amazing stores-buildings-malls spread across the city. And still, out of these and many more categories, what crosses your eye is the unhealthy sight of a man standing with his face towards a wall doing what relieves himself of what they call the “biggest pressure”. Yes, you are right: peeing!
And as this happens, and no matter how much you hate yourself for having such a view catch your eye, the man suddenly looks back and smiles at you. The smile, that makes you ashamed of having looked at it.
Recently while driving down to a mall nearby, what caught my eye made me disgusted enough to pen down my thoughts on why men peeing in public needs to be taken up as a serious offence. An offence that calls for all women (and men, if they would like to kill their temptation of peeing in public) to come together and do something about this social menace, which is not just an unpleasant sight but also a sexual offence. So, as I relive to you the few minutes of that day, I am sure you would come up with a version of yours, an experience you have had that made you feel disgusted. Shared or not shared with anyone, that’s another side of the story.
While I was driving around with my mother to a nearby place, a car full of women was just in front of me. Thanks to the road being a little out of shape, speed was slower than usual. And there he was, casually urinating. While generally the situation has a man standing facing towards the wall, in this particular instance the man stood facing towards the road, showing his private parts to the women in the car right in front of me, smiling and shaking his heart out (you get what I mean!).
And as this happened, the women in the car turned their faces towards the other side (what anyone of us would do!). The irritated social moron that I am, I slowed further and rolled down the window to shout at the man and sarcastically applaud him (I literally clapped) for what he just did. To my disgust, the shame factor being absent for this man, he smiled back again. With a sad look of my face (from what the city is heading to), I drove ahead as my mother shouted at me for doing what I had just done. Needless to say, the argument with my mother made me realize that no matter how terrible a sight this is for women, they only shun the urge to do something about it because, let’s face it, nothing can change.
And to my utter dismay, on a fifteen minute drive, I saw this and some three other men peeing in public. Men of all categories: educated-uneducated. Why couldn’t I ignore it? I just can’t! It’s a terrible sight for me and the smiling face of the man has been haunting me. If we can’t stop such little acts of social disgust, how in the world can we work on making the city rape-free? And I am not exaggerating at all. There are two very strong arguments linked here: One is that of sanitation and hygiene, and the other is that of masculinity.
Lets take sanitation first. While the Government’s Sanitation and Toilets Initiative has been on for years, the agenda ever since has been to create toilets and not behaviour change. I am of the belief (as a social sector professional, and a human first) that if any act/law/policy has to be implemented in the country, the aim first has to be to target root behaviour. In this situation, we all would agree that the root problem in the country is the age-old practice of defecating and peeing in open. Women and men in villages, both, have done it. But men have been more open about it.
While the government works towards building more toilets in every household, street in India, targeting the psychology is very important for creating socially acceptable behaviour in this regard. There are two problems: lack of (public) toilets and lack of an attitude towards NOT peeing in public. And please, don’t give me the argument on how uncontrollable it is. No matter what it does to you, you are not entitled to do it in the open. Not only is it a terrible sight for the city’s civic look but also as a woman, I find it offensive.
The second argument is that of masculinity overdose. And while I describe this, I don’t care if I am taken up as a feminist or not. I simply fail to understand why it is that instead of finding a washroom, men find it better to just pull over, and pee anywhere in open. Day or night. Crowded or secluded. The fact that the idea to find a place to pee doesn’t cross their mind, or fails to stay there makes me realize that there is a strong need to change this very thought! And while I read about what laws are there to stop it in our country, the fact that it’s a worldwide menace made me realize not just the global prevalence but also how India seems to be a champion in this too. The sexual violence levels in India, rapes and abuses been present, to me this is a mental abuse. And while I say this, I know many women would agree. Men whom I have questioned about it said that no matter how women see it, they have to do it. I don’t see any logic in that, and yes, not even a medical logic. If you want to pee, find a toilet! Period!
In November last year, a woman was killed because she tried to stop a man from peeing outside her house at night. This happened in Delhi. And while this might be one in a hundred cases, this is what fighting against something wrong does to a person in this country. They say there is a fine for it. But tell me, when I see even police officers doing it, who will be held responsible for levying that fine on the men who find it rather amusing to look at women, smile and pee showing off their private parts as if it gives them a mental pleasure? Awful. This is the reality.
This article was originally published at The Alternative: http://thealternative.in/arts-culture/men-peeing-in-public-an-issue-of-sanitation-exhibitionism-and-sexual-harassment/
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